Cherishing relationships: Expressing appreciation

Veterinary practice management icon, Mark Opperman, CVPM, passed away last July, and the internet buzzed with comments. While I’m sure we prefer face-to-face meetings or phone calls at a time like this, I’m glad we have social media because we get to read real-time powerful and poignant condolences and comments about Mark, that in decades past, would have only been witnessed or heard by family and close friends at a memorial service.

Two male professionals pose for a photo.
Marty Becker, DVM, and Mark Opperman, CVPM, at the 2023 VetPartners Mid-Year Meeting in Denver, Colo. Photo courtesy Burzenski & Co, PC

Going way back

Mark and I were about the same age and literally grew up together inside of veterinary medicine. In the 1970s, Mark started his vet med career as a kennel attendant in Connecticut and I as a high school veterinary volunteer in Idaho.

Being almost 70 years old and without the benefit of being able to go back and search diaries or find anything online, I reached out to folks I worked with in the past (Dr. Ray Glick and Becky Turner Chapman) to confirm the dates I most likely met Mark.

I started writing for Veterinary Economics around 1984, and along with Mark, I was a speaker at the first Central Veterinary Conference in 1989. For you younger colleagues, at one time, there was the Eastern States Veterinary Conference (which became the North American Veterinary Conference [NAVC], then Veterinary Meeting & Expo [VMX]) and the Western Veterinary Conference (WVC), among others.

In a friendly but fierce way, Mark and I competed as communicators, writers, and speakers. We teased each other about who the “top dog” was, but at the end of the day, over a drink, we celebrated being a part of making this great profession even better. We always vowed to keep it honest and to live a life of improvement—to which Mark once said, “Stab each other in the front … but defend each other behind our backs.”

When you admire someone like Mark Opperman, who began his career picking up where dog’s left off (doo doo) as a kennel attendant and ascended to such a significant role in veterinary practice management, it is truly inspiring. His journey underscores the power of dedication, hard work, and a deep passion for the profession. The tactics, tips, and strategies Mark shared have shaped countless veterinary professionals and left a lasting impact on the well-being of pets and the veterinary field as a whole.

A good example is his founding work with the Veterinary Hospital Manager’s Association (VHMA), with nearly 1,000 individuals becoming Certified Veterinary Practice Managers. Mark’s legacy is a testament to the transformative influence one individual can have when driven by love for their work and a commitment to excellence.

An attitude of gratitude

Losing someone dear to us often serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of expressing gratitude and appreciation while we still can. Mark’s passing prompted a flood of warm memories and heartfelt tributes from those who knew him. This experience has underscored the necessity of acknowledging and celebrating individuals’ positive impacts on our lives, not just in retrospect but throughout our journey together.

Mark’s passing has illuminated the essence of human connection—how a simple act of kindness or a shared experience can leave an indelible mark on our hearts. It compels us to reflect on the times we might have taken those connections for granted and encourages us to reassess how we express our feelings toward others.

Throughout our lives, we encounter numerous people who influence us profoundly. They may be mentors who shape our careers, friends who stand by us through thick and thin, or family members whose unwavering support sustains us. Yet, how often do we pause to convey the depth of our appreciation to them?

Expressing gratitude should not be reserved solely for eulogies and memorials. It is a practice that enriches both the giver and the receiver in countless ways. By articulating our gratitude openly and sincerely, we affirm the value of the relationship and strengthen the bonds that connect us.

In my own experience, I have been fortunate to have individuals like Mark in my life—people whose kindness, wisdom, and companionship have profoundly shaped my journey. I learned from my parents to let people know how they positively impacted me, best of all, in real time, but always sooner than later.

Expressing appreciation

When I was in my first year of college in 1973, I asked my parents for the addresses of about 10 people in our small, Southern Idaho community who had greatly impacted my life. Despite their asking, I would not tell them why. I took the time to write personal letters to my fifth-grade teacher who taught me the love of art; the high school English teacher who encouraged me to be a writer; the football coach who taught me leadership as a quarterback; the neighbor who helped my brother and I mind the farm when my dad was debilitated by depression; and the pastor who gave me sage advice before heading to college. I sent the letters, and every single one of them wrote back and contacted my parents to tell them how much it meant to them.

My dad took his life about 25 years later, and at his funeral, several children of the people I sent the letters to pulled me aside and told me how much the letters meant to their parents, both when they received them and years later. Because of how impactful I realized my letters were, I decided to double down and send letters to people inside of veterinary medicine who had positively impacted me life.

One of the things I teach my children, and those I mentor, is to send birthday cards (handwritten, hand-addressed, hand-stamped) to everyone who makes our lives better, both personally and professionally. Do not just write canned responses, such as, “Have a great day!” but instead, take 15-30 minutes to write what’s in my heart and head. I send almost 200 birthday cards per year.

With Mark’s passing, I hope you feel words of gratitude and admiration for those who have made your life better should have been more frequent and more deliberate. It is not enough to assume those we care about understand their significance in our lives; we must actively communicate it.

Imagine a world where each of us takes a moment every day to express appreciation—to thank someone for their encouragement, to acknowledge their impact, or simply to remind them how much they mean to us. Such a world would undoubtedly be richer in compassion, empathy, and mutual respect.

Let Mark’s legacy be a catalyst for change in how we approach our relationships. Let us commit to honoring those who touch our lives by sharing our gratitude openly and authentically. Let us recognize that every interaction, no matter how fleeting, has the potential to leave an enduring impression.

As I reflect on Mark Opperman’s life and the outpouring of love in the wake of his passing, I am reminded of the words of Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Let us strive to make others feel appreciated, valued, and cherished every day.

In conclusion, expressing gratitude is not merely a gesture; it is a transformative act that enriches our lives and strengthens our connections with others. Let us seize every opportunity to celebrate the impact of those who shape our journeys, ensuring that our appreciation is heard and felt, today and always.


Marty Becker, DVM, writes regularly for Veterinary Practice News. Dr. Becker is a Sandpoint, Idaho practitioner, and founder of the Fear Free initiative. For more information about the organization or to register for certification, visit http://fearfree.com/. Columnists’ opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Veterinary Practice News.

Scroll to Top